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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #271
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    Re: Joke of the day

    I lay in bed last night and thought to myself "where did it all go wrong" and suddenly a voice from nowhere said "Zaza, this is going to take more than one night"

  2. #272
    Senior Member b slicker's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Gemma came home from school to tell her mother that the boys kept
    asking her to do handstands against the wall.

    Her mother told her not to do this because it was just so they could see her knickers.

    'I know that' replied Gemma. 'that's why I keep them in my schoolbag'.



    after Gervase Phinn - a Yorkshire schools' Inspector.

  3. #273
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    Re: Joke of the day

    This may have been around before, but it's still worht a smile.

    JV

    Many years ago, I married a widow, who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorisation.
    As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.
    As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Also, it appears that I am my wife's grandchild.
    A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.
    In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the answer to the following query: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfil the requirements for receiving childcare benefit?

  4. #274
    Senior Member skoda's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by john maddock View Post
    This may have been around before, but it's still worht a smile.

    JV

    Many years ago, I married a widow, who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorisation.
    As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.
    As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Also, it appears that I am my wife's grandchild.
    A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.
    In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the answer to the following query: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfil the requirements for receiving childcare benefit?
    A way of avoiding inheritance tax .
    Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

  5. #275
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by skoda View Post
    A way of avoiding inheritance tax .
    Could be right - who knows the origin of the story! As I read it, the story was set in Aus., and we've not had an "inheritance tax" for yonks.

    JV

  6. #276
    Senior Member b slicker's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Has he written his will?

  7. #277
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    Re: Joke of the day

    I am sure that one has been around since before Europeans found Australia!
    such practices are still common in some parts of Norfolk
    Ixworth Solar Farming Ltd.

  8. #278
    Senior Member skoda's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by Exfarmer View Post
    I am sure that one has been around since before Europeans found Australia!
    such practices are still common in some parts of Norfolk
    Have you been reading your local news paper again
    http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/norfolk-brothers/
    Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

  9. #279
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by skoda View Post
    Have you been reading your local news paper again
    http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/norfolk-brothers/
    Those two are barely believable! Is it possible the Suffolk Gazette is having its own in-house joke?

    JV

  10. #280
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    Re: Joke of the day

    Quote Originally Posted by john maddock View Post
    Those two are barely believable! Is it possible the Suffolk Gazette is having its own in-house joke?

    JV
    The Suffolk Gazette is a parody of life locally. Specialising in putting the boot into Norfolk.
    The two counties are a bit like NZ and Oz, but more sophisticated
    Ixworth Solar Farming Ltd.

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